Why I Don't Hallucinate on Psychedelics: The Role of Aphantasia

Understanding the difference between hallucinations and illusions is crucial when discussing the effects of psychedelic drugs. Hallucinations, characterized by sensory input from nothing that is perceived and believed to be real, are often associated with psychosis. However, psychedelic drugs typically do not induce such effects under normal dosages. Instead, they primarily cause illusions, which are distortions of sensory input and altered states of consciousness.

Understanding Hallucinations vs. Illusions

Hallucinations, such as those caused by deliriants, datura, and certain mushrooms, can indeed occur at dangerous dosages. These are more reminiscent of schizophrenia or other psychotic states. On the other hand, psychedelics and dissociatives usually cause illusions, which are less severe and mostly involve distortions of perception rather than sensory input from nothing. Illusions might include visual distortions like patterns meltings, colors intensifying, and textures deepening, but they are always tied to the stimulus.

My Personal Experience with Psychedelics

I have a unique neurological condition known as aphantasia, also referred to as "mind blindness." Unlike most people, I cannot visualize anything in my mind. When asked to imagine a simple shape like a triangle, I am unable to do so. This condition extends to all forms of visual imagery, including dreaming. Therefore, when I first tried psychedelics, I was keen to see if they would allow me to experience mental imagery. Unfortunately, this did not happen.

Instead, I experienced more subtle alterations in perception, such as visual distortions. For example, patterns on walls might wiggle, colors might appear more vivid, and textures might become more pronounced. The most extreme instance was seeing the little black and white squares of a checkerboard floor move and switch places, but this was real, and the floor was checkered. No hallucinations of non-existent entities occurred, and I remained aware of the physical reality of my surroundings.

Compensating for Lack of Mental Imagery

Despite not being able to visualize, I do have an enhanced ability to perceive tactile and emotional sensations. For instance, I can easily conjure the sensation of burlap brushing against my skin, or the detailed feeling of boots making crunching sounds on thin ice. Even in dreams, instead of seeing and hearing, I rely on these heightened senses to experience the narrative.

Aphantasia also affects my auditory experiences. I do not have an inner voice, and I rely on external auditory input to understand how a person sounds. Interestingly, even in my dreams, there are no spoken words, and my associations are through feeling rather than hearing.

Conclusion

The ability to hallucinate, or even see mental imagery, exists on a spectrum. My position on this spectrum, as someone with aphantasia, means that I do not hallucinate in the traditional sense, even with the assistance of psychedelic drugs. These drugs can enhance my existing perceptions, providing a richer experience of tactile and emotional sensations, but they do not allow me to conjure mental images or other auditory internal stimuli.

My experience highlights the unique ways in which different individuals process sensory input and how neurological conditions can influence these experiences. Understanding the nuances of these differences can help in evaluating the effects of psychedelic drugs and in providing insights into the nature of consciousness and perception.