Patty Hearst’s Musical Comedy: A Hilarious Journey into Revolution and Romance
What if a musical comedy movie about Patty Hearst was made? Let’s dive into the plot, key songs, and jokes that would make this an unforgettable experience for audiences.
Plot Overview
The movie begins in the posh surroundings of the Hearst mansion with a young Patty Hearst enjoying the comforts and privileges of wealth. The opening number is a playful song called “Life in the Lap of Luxury”, where the ensemble sings and dances through the mansion’s vast rooms filled with art, servants, and silver platters. Patty’s character is introduced as a curious yet somewhat naive college student who’s always had a sheltered life but harbors a secret longing for excitement and adventure.
The tone quickly shifts as the Symbionese Liberation Army (SLA) bursts onto the scene, breaking into her dorm and abducting her in a chaotic sequence. The song “Join the Revolution!” starts with dramatic chanting and intense rhythms but then morphs into a comedic back-and-forth with the SLA members fumbling with their masks and accidentally tripping over furniture, turning what should be a tense situation into an absurd farce.
Act I focuses on Patty's transition from a captive to a self-proclaimed revolutionary. Each scene juxtaposes her initial confusion and fear with her gradual indoctrination, all set to tongue-in-cheek musical numbers. The standout song in this act is “Stockholm Syndrome Serenade”, where Patty and the SLA members sing and dance in a lively, almost vaudeville-style number about the confusing emotions of captivity, filled with absurd one-liners like: “Kidnapped or just misguided guests? It’s getting so hard to tell!”
Songs and Jokes
Opening Number: “Life in the Lap of Luxury”
Lyrics Example:
Wake up at noon, skip the line for the Louvre / No need to wait, I’ve got Daddy’s approval. / Chauffeurs and caviar, diamonds and pearls / It’s tough being one of the richest girls!
Joke: As Patty sings this line, a butler hands her a gold-plated sandwich which she takes a single bite of before handing it back with a dismissive: “Too crunchy. Try again.”
Kidnapping Scene Song: “Join the Revolution!”
Lyrics Example:
We’re here to overthrow/ but first, where’s the door? / Wait, where’s the map? / I thought you had it before!
Joke: One of the SLA members, after bursting in, forgets why they’re there and accidentally asks Patty for directions to a gas station.
Patty’s Transformation Song: “Stockholm Syndrome Serenade”
Lyrics Example:
Captured my body, but what about my mind? / You’re all very friendly, and maybe just blind. / Should I fight you or join in this craze? / I’m getting so confused, in this underground maze!
Joke: Patty and an SLA member do a dance where they keep switching roles: captor and captive, ending with a freeze-frame of them pointing at each other with finger guns and saying: “Who’s who again?”
Heist Song: “Stick ‘Em Up with Style!”
Lyrics Example:
We’re robbing a bank, but with class and grace. / Flashing a smile while you’re off your face. / It’s more than just cash — it’s a message we send / About fighting oppression and starting a trend!
Joke: While holding up the bank, one SLA member tries to lecture a security guard on Marxist philosophy, only for the guard to respond with: “I just want to go home, man.”
Act II: Escalation and Comedy
In Act II, Patty under her new identity of Tania becomes a full-fledged member of the SLA. The iconic Hibernia Bank robbery is reimagined as a darkly humorous spectacle with the song “Stick ‘Em Up with Style!”. The scene begins seriously but quickly spirals into absurdity as the SLA members start arguing about camera angles, accidentally triggering alarms, and fumbling their weapons. As Patty, now showing surprising charisma, takes the lead in the robbery, the song reaches a crescendo with lyrics like: “Get down on the floor… unless you’re too sore! We’re not heartless, we know marble’s hard!”
A subplot involves the Hearst family trying to negotiate Patty’s release, portrayed as an exaggerated satire of wealth and privilege. In a number titled “Ransom or PR Stunt”, the family debates whether paying the ransom would make them look weak, with all of them singing in faux-operatic voices about how: “The Hearst name must remain pristine—money is no issue, but the brand must be seen!”
Act III: Trial and Media Frenzy
In the third act, as the SLA’s plans fall apart, the narrative shifts to show Patty’s trial and the bizarre media frenzy surrounding it. The courtroom becomes a stage for the show-stopping number “Justice Is Blind, But Can She Hear!”, where lawyers, reporters, and even the judge break into song, questioning whether Patty is a criminal or a victim. The song includes quick-witted lyrics like: “Did she mean to shoot, or did she shoot to mean? Was she brainwashed, or just wiped clean?”
Jokes through the film:
- When the SLA tries to send a tape of Patty to the media, one member accidentally erases it while trying to record over a soap opera episode. He then tries to recreate the message by imitating Patty’s voice, which ends up hilariously inaccurate.
- During a scene where Patty struggles with the decision to join the SLA, she sings a dramatic ballad titled “Identity Crisis”. She stops mid-song to ask one of the SLA members “Wait, what’s your name again? And what are we fighting for,” which results in the entire group arguing over the actual goals of their cause.
- A sequence shows Patty trying to balance a gun while reading Marxist literature, dropping both repeatedly. She sighs, muttering: “It was so much easier when I only had to balance my trust fund.”
Finale: “The Ballad of Patty and Tania”
The movie closes with a bittersweet yet upbeat song that reflects on Patty’s journey, blending comedy and a touch of introspection. In the final verse, Patty and her alter-ego Tania engage in a duet singing about their conflicting identities and the bizarre, comedic nature of the entire experience. The lyrics include: “Was I born to rebel or raised to comply? / Did I fight for a cause or just fear to deny? / I’m Patty or Tania — who really knows? / Life’s not a drama — it’s a comedy show!”
As the movie ends, the ensemble performs a reprise of “Stick ‘Em Up with Style!”. Patty, now back in her heiress life, smiles knowingly at the camera, hinting that she’s not quite the same girl she used to be—but she’s still not sure who she’s become. The screen fades to black with Patty breaking the fourth wall and saying: “Well, at least it wasn’t boring!”