Why Can't I Stop Hoping My Bipolar Ex Will Contact Me Again?

After two-and-a-half months since your ex-partner asked you not to contact him again, especially when he was dealing with depression, it's understandable to feel a deep longing to reconnect. This emotional yearning can stem from a combination of diminished self-worth, unresolved feelings, and a fervent belief in the possibility of a magical healing and reconciliation. However, it's essential to come to terms with the reality of your situation and focus on healing and moving forward.

Understanding the Emotional Struggle

The emotional pain of a breakup is often compounded by the complexities of a relationship involving mental health issues such as bipolar disorder. Your ex-partner's mental state during the relationship may have influenced your feelings of emotional worth and reinforced the illusion that a relationship could be salvaged despite inherent challenges. However, this ongoing hope can be exhausting and emotionally draining. It's crucial to acknowledge the reality of the situation and the need to prioritize your emotional well-being.

Seeking Spiritual Support

Many find solace and guidance in faith. Praying for God's will and direction, and asking for Jesus' help, can provide comfort and strength during these challenging times. The New Testament offers insights into emotional resilience and spiritual guidance. The Gospel of John, in particular, can serve as a source of wisdom and encouragement. By praying for wisdom, you can gain clarity and direction for your life.

A Personal Insight from Someone with Bipolar Disorder

Robert G, like myself, has experienced the complexities of a relationship with bipolar disorder. I too was left by my ex-partner, and she gave me significant notice before leaving. Although we share a loving bond with our children, our relationship is now limited to financial and child-related matters. This example illustrates that even the presence of children cannot guarantee continued communication between ex-partners.

My wife felt betrayed by my actions, and she believed there was a deliberate component to my behavior. I can assure you that I never wanted to hurt her and that my lack of trust in her was a significant issue. During our relationship, I was so invested in her that I couldn't conceive of life without her. I believed she protected me from poverty, homelessness, and an early death, but this belief was a delusion. In reality, I was deeply unhappy and engaged in self-deception.

Exploring the Reasons Behind the Relationship

My hypothesis is that both my ex-wife and I were in pretend relationships, where we were seeking validation and emotional fulfillment. We were not truly being ourselves, but rather playing roles we thought others expected us to play. This insight can also apply to your situation. Your hope for a reunion with your ex-partner may stem from a deep-seated need to feel complete and whole.

Reflecting on Your Internal World

Here are a few questions to consider:

Are there times in your past that you don't remember?Did you ever feel like you were pretending to be someone you aren't?Did you feel like your ex-partner helped fill a kind of emptiness that you didn't really know was there?

These questions may help you uncover underlying emotional needs and triggers that are driving your hope for reconciliation. Self-reflection can be a powerful tool in understanding your emotions and moving forward towards healing.

May you find the strength and clarity to prioritize your emotional well-being. May your journey lead you towards a place of peace and self-understanding.