15 Minutes with Trump: A Hilarious and Humbling Experience

Imagine if you could spend 15 minutes in a locked room with Donald Trump. What would happen in there?

Typical Reactions

Depending on my mood, my reactions would vary significantly. 'Hey Donnie wuz poppin’' could be as likely as 'it’s an honor to meet you, Mr. President.' The latter is something I would likely say to almost any President, but only if I don’t feel like getting interrogated by the USSS afterward.

Strategic Ice-Breaker

I would start by introducing myself, saying something like, 'Hello, Mr. President, I must say it is an honor to meet you.' Then, I would go on to tell him that, of course, he did a great job and that the election was stolen from him, a statement he’s heard countless times. However, I would twist it to serve my own purposes.

'Sir, I don’t know why we are locked in this nondescript room with undetermined furnishings, but since we are here for 15 minutes, I imagine you want to chat about something other than politics. Oh, I see a pool table over there and a dartboard; if you are up for it, we could kill some time doing something other than politics. Knowing you, you might even be up for a game of pool.' This statement would turn the conversation in a non-traditional political direction.

Subtle Dig and Light Hearted Joke

Next, I would subtly point out our shared Scottish ancestry, suggesting that we could discuss salmon fishing and haggis frying. This would be a light-hearted way to make the conversation more personal and reduce any potential tension.

During the 15 minutes, I would be safe from him, knowing that he isn’t interested in short, plump women like me. While he might insult me, I wouldn’t attack him since he’s big enough to make that difficult. Instead, I might deliberately trip the breaker to see how he reacts to sparks and darkness. Or, I would allow him to beat me at tic-tac-toe, acknowledging his past success in the game with a good-natured laugh.

The goal would be to create a humorous and non-confrontational atmosphere, with the hope that after 5 minutes, both of us would be laying on the floor, wheezing and still trying to outdo each other, as if it were a hilarious game of memory.

So, if given the opportunity, I would embrace the situation with a mix of humor, respect, and a little bit of playful tension, ensuring that the 15 minutes would be filled with equal parts surprise and laughter.