Whatever else has happened when you broke up, one emotion is sure to be present: hurt.

I don’t care if you are the person who initiated the breakup, or not — there’s enough hurt to go around for both parties.

Frequently, the person who decided to initiate the breakup did it as a way to communicate that they are hurting.  They may have tried a number of ways before. 

Did you notice? 

Were you listening?

That hurt often comes from a feeling that they are no longer special in your eyes. 

Perhaps other things have intervened, so you haven’t spent as much time with them.  It could be work, it could be studies, it could just be spending time with other people.
Let’s face it — there’s usually a heady beginning to romances.  Time when it seems like no one else in the world exists except the other person.  And the one person in the relationship feels the intoxication of feeling so very important to the other.

As a relationship grows over time, this heady time dissipates.  This is natural and healthy.  The intensity of the relationship serves an important purpose in forming bonds with the other, in learning about the other, in understanding the other.

And, as each comes to know the other, they form a foundation from which to explore the rest of the world — whether the exploration is in creating a family, growing a creative partnership, or simply having someone to talk things over with.

What often happens, though, is that a mis-understanding occurs in that heady time.  One person may have an abnormal need to be at the center of the other person’s attention.  They think that the other person should keep them on a pedestal, and believe that they have no faults.

Or maybe it’s simply that we human beings grow and learn at different rates. 

One person feels the need to spend less time with the other in order to accomplish other goals.  Within a relationship, kinks like this are common.  Mature love, though, finds a way to adjust to one another’s different rates of growth.

However, it’s often a learning that has to occur.  The one partner feels hurt because that not occupying their lover’s time with the same intensity means that they are no longer special to them.  And when they feel that, they feel hurt.

Sadly, many very compatible couples separate because they don’t understand this principle.  They feel that they must always move in synchrony — always wanting the same amount of the same things all the time.

Sometimes, simple awareness of these facts can help people right a relationship that has fallen apart.

However, if it’s gone so far that there has been attempts to hurt one another, greater action is required.

That’s why I created the Ex Back System, to help people come back together who deserve to be together — who truly love one another — but for one reason or another, a bump in the road has left them on opposite sides, hurting.  My system acts as salve to those wounds, to help you heal and grow together again.

Go to http://www.exbacksystem.com for more information

Brian

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