“What To Do With Your Holiday Plans After Your Ex & You Have Parted Ways!”Thought you had a fixed social calendar for the holidays?
Thought you had a fixed social calendar for the holidays??
If you recently broke up, you may now be at loose ends.
Let’s face it, when you are in a relationship, holidays require careful scheduling to jam as many important visits to friends and relatives as possible. More often, you make compromises, some events are left out, with decisions often painfully made.
So, after all that hard work, setting up the events on your social calendar — now what?
The winter holidays — whether you celebrate Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa or the Winter Solstice — usually mean spending time with close relatives.
Who do you go see, now?
What do you do?
No doubt, sharing the Holidays creates special kinds of memories. It brings remembrance of previous Holidays. Sometimes it’s the only time that you have arranged to see certain people during the year.
Without your ex, looking forward to the Holidays may seem like an invitation to loneliness.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Here are some things that you can do, and build your own set of special memories.
You can spend some special time with yourself, working on making you a better person. We can all use that, right?
One friend of mine spent a Christmas Eve going through photographs — something she’d long delayed in doing. So many thoughts and memories swarmed through her mind that she finally pulled out a journal, and started writing them down.
There were thoughts about the people she loved, about what she thought she was doing in her life, what her purpose was. She put these ideas together and came to some conclusions — conclusions that she felt she would not have made at any other time. And commitments.
She tells me it was an emotional evening.
Sometimes she broke it up to take a short walk. She would notice things that she normally didn’t take such time to notice — how the various houses were decorated — or not.
But it opened new ways of thinking and feeling — ways that helped her to re-build her life, and eventually get her ex back.
But let’s think of some of the other possibilities…
As I mentioned in the beginning, being in a relationship usually means turning down one or more conflicting invitations. Now that you are by yourself, call those folks up. Just call them up and say “Hey, my plans have changed and I was wondering…do you still have a place for me?”
You can explain that it’s just you, and not you and your ex. Many people love to include in their life the people who are feeling alone, lost and maybe even unloved. It’s part of the feelings that arise for many people during the Holiday Season.
If travel arrangements were required, it’s probably too late to get good airline deals. (Though, if you have the time, look at different alternate travel methods — driving, hopping on a train — or even finding share-a-rides on CraigsList might make the travel still possible. You can make it an adventure!)
What if accepting previously turned down invitations doesn’t fit?
Consider this: spend some time volunteering. There are many people who are alone, and have no relatives. Whether it’s helping at the local “soup kitchen” or the local food bank, your efforts are much appreciated. I can remember attending a luncheon at a Senior Citizens’ residence, and how happy it made the senior citizens I ate with, and it gave me such a sense of unique warmth, I remember it fondly to this day.
In the meantime, if you’ve got my Ex Back System, keep working the system and reading the e-mails I’m sending you. If not, and your heart is breaking … why not get it today?
Brian Bold
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